I closed my eyes and hummed along to The Weeknd, my self-pleasure soundtrack of choice. RELATED: 5 Tips That’ll Make the Shower Your New Favorite Place to Have Sex Then, I stripped down and stepped in the shower, tube of lube in hand. I arranged my butt plugs from smallest to largest and tested the settings of my vibrating toy to get a sense of how it would feel (on my hand, it felt the same as any other low-powered vibe). I (unironically) lit my favorite Boy Smell Candle, moved my speakers into the bathroom, and set up shop on the counter. when I knew my roommate would be gone for at least two hours-and also when I needed a shower (#multitasking). While Sinclair said I didn’t need to worry about making a mess (because I had to ask if poop was going to be an issue) and could play in my bed, she says showers are best for beginners: “It’s warm, which will help you relax, and there’s more flexibility for positions.”įast forward to a lovely January morning at the ripe hour of 10 a.m. I decided a silicone-based lube would be best because Sinclair suggested that the first time I use the butt plug I do it in the shower, and I know from ~experience~ that water-based lube washes off in the shower, while a silicone-based lube has more staying power. "I would recommend applying lubricant to both the toy and to your anus." “It’s imperative that you have some lube on hand to facilitate a smooth experience," says clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs. Plus, your butt simply doesn't self-lubricate. RELATED: 10 Women Reveal Their Go-To Vibrator for Amazing Orgasms Why lube and why silicone-based? Not to over-hype it, but in my experience lube can take your sex life from a Charlotte to a Samantha in 10 seconds flat-or however long it takes to dig through your night table and flip open the top of the bottle. Then, I stocked up on more of my favorite silicone-based lube. While I usually prefer sex toys made of glass or steel because I like the heft, Sinclair says silicone products are better for newbies, so I bought an “ anal training kit” complete with three silicone butt plugs at increasing sizes (three, four, and five inches) and also a vibrating butt plug made of silicone (because I’m an overachiever). I decided now wasn’t a time to be stingy. “Unlike your vagina, which stops at your cervix, your anus keeps going all the way into your digestive system, which is why you want a structure that keeps the plug from getting lost inside you.” Yikes.Īlso, at risk of sounding like a size queen, all of my dildos are longer than five inches, which TBH intimidated the eff out of my peach. While I have dildos in every shape and color (including rainbow!), Sinclair informed me that when it comes to butt play, you want to find something with a flared base. Sinclair convinced me to get the party started. Without getting into too much detail, I’d played with my partner's butt (shoutout to Lelo’s Hugo prostate massager), but beyond a lick and flick here and there, my butt never attended the party. So when Alicia Sinclair, sex educator and CEO of b-Vibe, told me, “Women often report that their ability to enjoy anal sex and climax through anal stimulation is less affected by medication,” I decided to bring a second hole into my solo-time. My lifelong, not-a-medical-professional hypothesis for why I have a hard time coming is that in high school before I was sexually active I was on anti-anxiety medication for few months-meds that have a rep for messing with libido and sexual function. RELATED: The 8 Best Sex Toys to Use When You're Masturbating
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